Sorry, Superman

Although many of us have been hoping for a miracle which would pull this country from the brink of the abyss and lay it safely back on the right track, it seems we now have scientific proof that we are one more option short. The discovery of Kryptonite in a Serbian mine (as reported by BBC) means that we cannot even hope for Superman anymore.

Speaking of whom, I never really understood Superman’s agenda. With all he can do, he spends his days saving people from burning buildings and cats stuck in trees when he could actually do something good for all of mankind like stop wars and protect the environment. If he wanted to I bet he could prevent illegitimate governments from abusing parliament, ruling unlawfully through decrees or promoting ethnic and religious tensions to cover up their inability to govern… Well, he probably wouldn’t do that, but it would be nice to at least have the option.

So is this why we have become a refuge for the villains of the world? Perhaps we have unearthed the root of our problems. And maybe it’s this mineral that prevents us form being the super beings we’ve always imagined ourselves to be.

When I was little I really believed I could fly. I actually have “memories” of flying that are really hard to distinguish from my real childhood memories. Hopefully when I’m no longer under this evil rock’s influence I’ll be able to breathe more easily.

Protecting the Chocolate Banana

Worthy causes are rare in Serbia while stupid marketing strategies abound. The most recent combination of the two is a bid to come up with a new name for arguably the most famous dessert in the country - the Cream banana, known to everyone as chocolate banana (cokoladna banana) or simply bananica (small banana). The actual banana content of this beloved product or its strange unbananalike shape may be disputed, but no one can deny the strength of the bananica brand. So the whole idea is in my view simpy, well… bananas!
It could be a ploy to officially recognize the product’s unofficial name, or just a stunt to get people to react. In any case it’s working, as everyone is talking about it, thinking up names and from what I hear there is even a petition to save the poor little chocolate banana, which I wholeheartedly support.
However, I too have been tempted to combine all the cho-s, nana-s and ba-s in my head in search for the ultimate combination. And, though I hear I’m not the only one to come up with this solution, I feel that in view of Serbia’s passionate love affair with tradition and obsession with all things ethno, the winner has to be: Chobanica – or little shepherd girl.
And here’s my suggestion for a possible campaign – so take a look at what the future might bring - all rights, naturally, reserved :)

The Best Things in Life Are Free (and wooden kitchen utensils are incredibly cheap)

Perhaps I’m too easily excited but I need to share my unfounded excitement.
This Sunday I was on Kalenic market looking to replace a wooden spatula which I accidentally dropped behind the stove while cooking and was both too lazy to reach for and too squeamish to reuse.

I came across a shop which sells wooden ladles along with other products made of wood, and as I was thinking whether or not to buy one, because it’s not really what I was looking for, I remembered to ask for the price. Ten dinars, the saleswoman said, to my absolute surprise.

In fact, it appears all items in the small shop were equally cheap because when I handed the lady a fifty dinar note, she looked at me with dismay as if saying: what am I to do with all that money?

It was quite pleasing to realize you can actually buy something so cheap, I thought as I walked away with my new wooden ladle in hand.
I wonder, what else can one get for 10 dinars?

Post-holiday stress disorder

The four days of Easter holidays felt so good – the warm sunshine and a weekend at my parents house stuffing myself with delicious food without even having to get out of bed.
I’ve only been back at work for two days and the first thing that crosses my mind when I wake up is to quit. I need a real holiday. Strange how just a few lazy days erase any memory of what it takes to work hard.
Come on Labor Day!

Reluctant Dragon is One

Shame on me. I almost forgot. Happy Birthday dear Dragon!
I didn’t get you anything, but I promise I’ll try to write more often.
In your first year there have been ups and downs, but many people came and we made some friends, so I’ll do my best to help you go on and improve.

Do you have any wishes, comments or advice for Reluctant Dragon as he enters his second year?

Lasha Tumbai

And we have a winner! The Ukrainian contestant for Eurosong is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. I love it. Some might say that this is as embarrassing for the Ukraine as the song I was so afraid would win the Serbian contest would have been for us, but I think this is a completely different category. Maybe it’s because I have a thing for drag queens (not what it sound like) but I think this is genuinely funny and fun. She reminds me of my late great aunt, and even dances like some drunken relative at a wedding. And it even political! The meaningless (fact-checked) title unmistakably sounds like Russia Goodbye. Brilliant. Ridiculously brilliant.
Ok. Happy End.

Check her out: Verka Serdyochka

April Idiots

Yesterday was the first truly gorgeous Sunday this year, and as I was sitting lizard-like with friends on some steps next to the National Library soaking in the sunlight and enjoying myself immensely I received a phone call from a distressed friend who told me that Britney Spears had committed suicide. It was in the news on MTV Adria. When I got home I turned on the news channels to see what happened, and after some time realized that it was an April fools joke. It took me a while to figure it out as it’s beyond my comprehension how anyone can joke about such things especially in regards to a person with psychological problems. It’s morbid and in terribly bad taste. Maybe they thought nobody is watching this channel anyway so why not attract some attention. Well, I hope somebody presses charges.