Pain in the Blog

This is not how it was suppose to be. I didn’t plan to post once a week.
But writing is proving to be much more difficult then I though. First of all, I never can find the time to do it, as I’m always busy with something else. Then, it’s hard to convert the flood of ideas on any given subject into a coherent piece of writing. I sit down and thoughts rush out, filling my screen with words and beginnings of sentences. But putting them into order and making sense of it, without writing a novel every time is almost painful.
Then self-censorship kicks in. One of the points of starting to write in the first place was examining the balance between private and public (or accessible to the public). And now, I’m having trouble with it. In the last few days important things have happened which will have huge effects on my life, provide material and inspiration and eventually give a whole new meaning and purpose to this blog. However, for now, I still feel they are too specific to let them loose on the internet. At this point I don’t want accidental visitors to (be able to) know who I am, however unlikely it may be, having in mind how huge the world is.
It sound insane. Such paranoia is unjustified (or is it?). In order to lose your privacy there needs to exist an interested public. This blog HAS NO audience. Sure, there have been some visits but nobody leaves any comments, and I have no idea who you people are. I’ve mentioned I was writing a blog to some friends, but deliberately didn’t want to spread it around yet. I wanted to see what happens naturally.
But maybe it would be good to have a couple of friendly regulars. Maybe it’s time for an offensive - getting an audience, establishing a style, determining a level of familiarity with potential readers.
I hope, in time, writing will come more naturally. I’ll pour regular amounts of well-constructed thinking into neat well-written posts on a regular basis to the delight of friends and unknown readers around the world. In the meantime I’ll try and post more often and be as interesting as I can. Thank you all for coming.