Tuesday, May 09, 2006

tata

My dad is feeling better and last night I could finally sleep.
After difficult surgery last week he can now move on his own, and might even be going home soon. He still has a long way to go. He is a bit lost and it’s difficult for him to speak. I don’t know what to say, so I just smile and hold his hand.
When I first saw him after surgery, pale and gasping for air, I thought he was going to die. I felt helpless. I was so sorry for him. When did my father become this old man? After I left the hospital I couldn’t calm down for days, although he was recovering. I guess it was one of those moments when you realize that people you love won’t be around forever, or maybe even for long, and you cry for them, and you cry for yourself, and you cry until you don’t even know why anymore.
My dad rarely says how he feels, but the other day, when no one was there he kissed my hand. I know.

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