Monday, April 10, 2006


Why am I doing this?
Recently, during a period of having to be in the office, but not having any actual work, I developed a fascination with blogs, as means of communication and expressing oneself.
I realized that I feel a need to participate in this phenomenon and I’ve been trying to explain it to myself.
I was wondering how it all begins and what it was that makes a person decide to share their thoughts with someone… or maybe no one.
To a certain extent it is a form of exhibitionism, and I have always loved having an audience. On the other hand, audience is by no means guarantied, so it can be a form of intimate contemplation. It is also about leaving some sort of permanent trace on this world however abstract, invisible and immaterial it might be. What is the probability of it being relevant one day?
So, above all, I see this as an experiment, mostly with myself, but also with other people. I want to see what I can do with a medium of expression which is not very familiar to me. This will be a space for anything and everything I find interesting. But I will have to write it, make it concise and bring some order into random streams of thoughts, give a narrative dimension to experiences.
Also, it is an experiment in public vs. private. How does one decide what to put on the internet? How is it going to change and evolve in time? How do you maintain a desirable level of privacy and anonymity, while at the same time writing about your life and your personal thoughts?
It’s also about reaction and interaction or the lack of both. Who, if anyone, is actually going to read this stuff? Why? How long does it take before someone stumbles on to it? How will they get here? What will they think about the ramblings of an unknown person half way across the world, or perhaps in the apartment next door? What if no one comes? And what about people who might read this but post no comments? …
I am excited about the potential to influence so many and the possibility I will influence none.
Off course, this raised an important issue. Initially, I thought, I would write in Serbian, but realized this also limits my potential audience considerably, greatly diminishing my chances for greatness and fame. After some consideration I decided to write in English. This might make the whole experience a bit less personal for me and most people I know, but it keeps options open for friends far away or still to come. In addition, it provides necessary distance so the blog doesn’t turn in to a daily forum for deciding which film to see.
I’ve never been much of a writer, never kept a journal or diary, but at times I did find it necessary to write things down, clarify and organize them. Often when I travel, I write little descriptions and short stories. I thought it was time to make some use of it, for someone other than me to read them, be it a couple of friends, or the occasional bored office worker with free internet access. It’s time for little words to break free from chaotic back pages of notebooks packed in dark boxes at the bottom of the closet and try to find their fortune on the world wide web.
“In the beginning was the word”, so, I guess, it’s back to basics.


John1975 said...

I've had these same questions and thoughts myself! I've learned that it's impossible to please everyone and that there will be people who, no matter what you say or do, will not like you for one reason or another...jebiga!

I envy the way you can write so easily in English as I'm sure you can in Serbian...I couldn't write in Serbian to save my life!

Anyway, I just wanted to say I found your blog today and went through it a bit and this day's entry compelled me to comment.

Take it easy!


Caly1979 said...

hey, bumped into your blog. you are an excellent writer. keep it up, you've got stuff to say.